Laws of Attraction: Biological Basis or Cultural Construction?

This post is inspired by a comment made by a student in my current Cultural Anthropology course.  There was not enough time to provide sufficient feedback on this topic within the scope of the class, so it is being addressed herein.

While giving a lecture in one of my courses, a student told a story about how in his travels abroad he found that foreign men were particularly drawn to one of his companions, a blonde haired woman, and would not leave this companion alone.  He described her as not what most American men would consider attractive (as she was not thin and did not have a clear complexion), and he supposed that these foreign men were biologically attracted to this blonde woman because she was “different” from their biological norm.  His opinion was that humans are biologically attracted to others who are different from themselves.  He further cited how American men are attracted to Asian women, who are different from themselves.  And while there are some common notions that would support this idea (e.g. “opposites attract”), are we, as human beings, truly attracted to those who appear different from us?  Are we really in control of our own destinies when it comes to choosing a mate?

This idea intrigued me, and I went on a fact finding mission to thoroughly examine this student’s ideas.  I immediately sought insights from fellow anthropologists, psychologists, social scientists, scientists, and others (ranging in education levels and scholarly and real world experience), and they inundated me with literature, opinions, and scholarly evidence on the topic.  And overwhelmingly, the answer was No.  There is little to no biological evidence to support this idea.  One individual pointed out that some of the “biological” evidence is flawed because the results are not culturally universal (i.e. not found across all cultures).  My own investigation led to the same conclusion.  Furthermore, some studies failed to demonstrate how the results could ultimately be supported (e.g. a suggested article http://m.guardiannews.com/science/2010/jun/04/men-blonde-women-attractive begs the question of how can these conclusions ever be verified if the groups in question cannot, in fact, be questioned). 

So if attraction is not biological, then what?  Why can it not be cultural?

There are several studies and pieces of evidence that demonstrate the power and influence of culture on who we fall in love with.  Studies demonstrate that several cultural/social factors, such as geographical closeness, ethnicity, race, religion, age, social class, values, and personality, have more of an effect on us and strongly influence who we fall in love with.  An observation of popular American culture supports these notions.  How many popular television shows depict (real or fictional) couples where one is of one race and the other of another race?  Our families also greatly influence who we fall in love with.  We may be attracted to a “bad boy” or “bad girl” but would we really bring them home to meet our parents?  Are we actually going to settle down with that individual?

Also, we, as humans, have a long history of changing values when it comes to beauty standards (Beauty over History 1, Beauty over History 2).  From curvy to skinny and pale to tan, beauty standards have varied throughout time.  And beauty standards vary by culture, as well.  Some cultures prefer women to be bigger or curvier, while others prefer skinny or athletic (see this article that demonstrates that a low waist-to-hip ratio is not a cultural universal: Nature Article).  

But what about my student’s observation?  It was no doubt a real situation, but is it common?  Many cultures do elevate paler hair, eye, and skin tones as being more important, and these traits are further associated with power and prestige.  We elevate these same traits in our culture (based on the popularity of blonde hair dyes, blonde actresses & models, Barbie dolls, etc.).  This association in other cultures is attributed to globalization, and the appearance of individuals with these characteristics having more power, prestige, and beauty.  The proliferation of American cultural goods (e.g. pornography, popular television shows, advertisements, etc.) furthers these ideas.  As well, several individuals (ranging from scholars to non-scholars), myself included, volunteered their personal experiences that corroborate this view.  But what about my student’s counter argument regarding American men’s fascination with Asians?  An examination of popular notions about Asians demonstrates that many people believe Asians are smart, traditional, and sexually alluring.  A quick google image search of “Asian women” will demonstrate this latter point (as compared to similar searches for “white women”, “African American women”, or “Native American women”).  Where we get these ideas is a matter for another (later) blog post, but these ideas are again rooted in cultural and historical views.  

All of this ultimately demonstrates that people are not attracted to difference as so much as people associate specific meanings and ideas to particular physical characteristics-be they different or similar-and they are attracted to those meanings.  So the conclusion to the title question of this post is that culture-be it good or bad, fair or unfair-drive the “laws of attraction”.